Getting help

Reach out, were told and my mental health needs it. So I tried yesterday, after the latest attack and spoke to a lot of organizations for advice. Age Concern (echoed by several others) advised me to speak to doctors and health visitor, to adult social services and to a lawyer. All of which I've done, using the small amount of energy I can muster. However, I don't know where this mythical help comes from, because where I say AWAITING CALL BACK, I mean still waiting, even if you're reading this in the year 3000. In reality, there isn't any help.

1. Spoke to Citizen's Advice Bureau. Had a long chat with the supervisor, but they're at a loss for practical suggestions. AWAITING CALL BACK.
2. Spoke to local Disability Information Service. Asked if they had any ideas, since they might have dealt with situations where disabled people needed help to defend themselves against abuse. AWAITING CALL BACK.
3. Spoke to Refuge and Women's Aid who at least listened to the story, acknowledging the similarities in the abuse pattern. Practically though, they could only suggest giving me their local outreach number a call. That was a recorded message that told me to phone the very same main helpline that I'd already phoned. Women's Aid Refuge and Advice line – NO REPLY.
4. On a friend’s (well, a friend of my mother's actually) suggestion, spoke to local Age Concern, who says they have no advice line locally, but have dealt with lots of similar situations where the old person is “sweetness and light” publicly, but turns on their “nearest and dearest” and says this behaviour sounds just like the first signs of dementia. She suggested I speak to Social Services, to the doctor and to a solicitor (the latter to send my mother a “cease and desist” letter, to put it in writing that she must stop “blackening my character”. I can't see her taking a blind bit of notice, but I can see the use in having such a document.) Says I can call her again if ever I need to.
5. Social Services, told to ask for Duty Care Manager, Adult Services. They would only be able to put me into a B&B – which would not allow the cats - so I haven't phoned and am leaving that for the absolute last resort.
6. Spoke to Community Health Visitor at GP surgery. She was going on leave, but promised to speak to both my mother's usual doctor and mine, with a view to coming out to see mother (only if mother gives permission – though she would not be told why) to assess the situation. AWAITING CALL BACK.
7. Spoke to a local solicitor and explained the idea that Age Concern put forward. Will speak to a couple of the partners and discuss what might be appropriate action. AWAITING CALL BACK.
8. Phoned Victim Support, but got NO REPLY.
9. Spoke to PALS who merely suggested ringing the following: Carers Active Listening Line; Carers Helpline and Carers Together.
10. Spoke to Carers Active Listening Line, who did, at least, listen. Suggested that I should book myself a double appointment to see my mother's GP and explain the situation – she suggests writing down some examples of the strange behaviour in bullet points, with a view to them calling mother in for a “standard old age MOT” (this would tie in with the Health Visitor's work) to assess whether this is dementia, some other mental problem or just plain bloody cantankerousness. Whichever diagnosis, she says, at least then we would know what we're dealing with. She also thinks it's important that I tell my mother's doctor that I am her carer, on the basis that I'm here, expected to do the cooking, as well as being the only family member in existence (which I did, when I first got here.) She offered the most empathy when I explained what the problem was and what had occurred today, saying, “you must be distressed.” Understatement! One interesting question she asked was if my mother allowed me any privacy and to my reply to that, could I put a lock on the door? Had clearly heard of similar cases. 

Yes, there were a few items I could have followed up and chased, but I figure if they don't call me, they don't want to help and I don't have the energy to keep badgering them for potentially no return. It's a frightening, isolated situation.