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Mother told me - in her cackling madwoman voice - that I had told her that I have no friends. Of ‘effing course I haven't ever said that, simply because it's not the case. Acquaintances I have hundreds; proper friends have been harder to keep with distances and poverty and because I lost touch with many in the days before the internet, but I’m certainly not without, nor have I ever said so.
After deciphering various cryptic clues, I worked out that she was alluding to people like Gregorio and Fernanda or Jesus and Elvira in Tenerife and, to the fact that I was sad not to have been able to say goodbye to them. And the only reason I didn’t was because my mother had insisted that I could not do so, nor use her address and, specifically, that I was not to tell people where I was going.
Ridiculous, but so be it. All I was doing was what she told me to do.
Mother now says she never said anything of the sort, that I am a liar (for what reason, exactly, might I want to make something like that up, I really cannot imagine) and accuses me that the only reason I had to leave without saying anything to anyone is because I owe the landlady money. I don't! And I know I haven't given my mother the impression that I do either, so she's simply made this up to serve her fantasy. She also definitely knew it was the other way round.
All the previous losses and damages and, that I estimated in monopoly money figures (to about £50K), I should have sued the landlady for, but yet again mother had insisted I must not. She was always paranoid about complaints “coming back” on you. They only do that if they’re false. Now I know she makes up false complaints all the time, I finally understand this fake paranoia.
My mother spent years begging my friends to ask me to come to Britain. (Because my mother has only ever had contact with one of my friends by phone, she’s now twisted this round in her head that, as she only speaks to one friend, I only have one friend.) My mother has done the "of course you'll always have a home here" act for years, she also said that the moment I came here it would be my house too. Of course, I didn't believe that, but I still didn't expect this level of abuse.
Of course, age and illness add to her madness, but they can only make an already nasty, sadistic, vindictive bitch into an even worse nasty, sadistic, vindictive bitch. So far, on advice, I've spoken to my mother's GP about her behaviour, I've talked to the Citizens' Advice Bureau and to a solicitor. My friend says that this is not fair on me and the bloke at the CAB says it's terrorism and, to be honest I really didn't expect an opinion that strong from someone there, but it’s gratifying.
